Seasons Greetings
Dear Friends
I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to you, but it is so
difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending
someone. So I met my solicitor, and on his advice I wish to say the
following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion, or secular
practices, of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Great Britain great
(not to imply that Great Britain is necessarily greater than any other
country or is the only "Great Britain" in the northern hemisphere), and
without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious
faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
* This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
* It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
* It implies no promise by the wisher actually to implement any of the
wishes for himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
* This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application
of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited
to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion
of the wisher.
Disclaimer:
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, however, a significant
number of electrons were inconvenienced (probably).
Please consider the environment before printing this email.
