Author Topic: The CHAV'SCORT Has Risen from the Grave !!! (Read 3288 times)

Roadkill · « **on:** January 28, 2007, 09:33:24 pm »

IT'S AALLLLIIIIIIIIVVVVVEEE !!!

Quick, easy fix.

Don't get me wrong, £27 was far more then I wanted to pay but the option was losing out on mileage allowance with no car and that's just crazy talk !

I'm using this thread to replace the old, original Chav'scort thread so will transfer some details here :

Purchased November '05 from PhilO for £400.

It was stolen in December '05 and I had to pay £105 for "recovery"

All replacement parts for the damaged ones were sourced for free.

No exterior work has been done except replacing the broken lights £7

Front pads have been replaced. £13.

Recent water pump work was £27.

TOTAL COSTS so far £552 - less fuel, tax and insurance.

When I got her she had 116,400 miles on her . . . She now has over 139,300 !!!

Making 22,900 miles for £552 = 2p per mile.

Even better - I get paid 40p per site work mile (less, say, 10p for petrol costs) and I've done around 14,000 of those with her netting me well over £4,200 profit !!! - Paying for herself nearly EIGHT TIMES OVER so far . . .

Finally. Because PhilO gave me a oil filter and I need some sh!tty oil to mix with some creosote for the garden fence she's penciled in for an oil change next weekend !!! . . . . . . After about 35,000 miles !!!

So add £3 to the total above for only the best Multi-grade oil money can buy.

I do need to buy an air-freshener 'cos she's never smelt right after being torched and now she's smelling worse and worse and . . . .

So add another £1 . . .

F*ck it's starting to add up !

art b · « **Reply #1 on:** January 28, 2007, 09:46:46 pm »

sounds like ya should,
be a ford main dealer......

HardRockCamaro · « **Reply #2 on:** January 28, 2007, 09:53:56 pm »

Should have sprung for a new belt.

It's math like that that proves the car should be bought parts to keep it going. Any replacement just doesn't add up as 30 quid to fix the Chavscort is far better than a few hundred on a replacement car.

Ignoring the theft recovery, you've spent less than £50 on repairs and maintenance in 30,000 miles.

A replacement could be a lot worse.

55starchief · « **Reply #3 on:** January 28, 2007, 09:57:50 pm »

You could make the drivers seat more comfortable by swapping out the seat swab with the passenger side

Roadkill · « **Reply #4 on:** January 28, 2007, 09:59:51 pm »

Quoting: HardRockCamaro

Should have sprung for a new belt.

The other one's only done 30,000 !

To be honest I am keen to replace her when I get the chance as, quite simply, she is very uncomfortable (on my back) to drive.

Also she's rusting away quite nicely . . if she survives with me for another six months I'll be more then happy.

Roadkill · « **Reply #5 on:** January 28, 2007, 10:01:09 pm »

ianjpage · « **Reply #6 on:** January 28, 2007, 10:17:12 pm »

long live the chavscort lol!!

fair play tho - its done bloody well

F Body · « **Reply #7 on:** January 29, 2007, 04:20:19 pm »

RK's version of Friday the 13th part 256

It's haunted I tell you, haunted !!!!!!

Roadkill · « **Reply #8 on:** January 29, 2007, 04:35:55 pm »

No one has mentioned that I've actually said about giving her an oil change.

I was expect numerous snide (and predictable) remarks about that . . .

I'm dissapointed in you . . .

55starchief · « **Reply #9 on:** January 29, 2007, 04:40:02 pm »

Quoting: Roadkill

No one has mentioned that I've actually said about giving her an oil change.

I was expect numerous snide (and predictable) remarks about that . . .

well technically with the oil leak it does its own change

Roadkill · « **Reply #10 on:** January 29, 2007, 04:41:49 pm »

Quoting: 55starchief

well technically with the oil leak it does its own change

That is normally my arguement, yes.

55starchief · « **Reply #11 on:** January 29, 2007, 04:43:12 pm »

Quoting: Roadkill

That is normally my arguement, yes.

your just a slave to the oil filter makers man

Roadkill · « **Reply #12 on:** January 29, 2007, 05:17:17 pm »

Quoting: 55starchief

your just a slave to the oil filter makers man

As I said, PhilO brought it.

F Body · « **Reply #13 on:** January 29, 2007, 06:01:04 pm »

Quoting: 55starchief

well technically with the oil leak it does its own change

That's why

That Ford b!tch was born to suffer, but ironically the 1st three owners really cherished it, which may explain why it's still going despite RK's maintenance schedule

Roadkill · « **Reply #14 on:** January 30, 2007, 09:22:52 am »

A new clunking noise this morning.

Suspension related. At the rear . . . . I suspect I may've crippled one of the shocks.

55starchief · « **Reply #15 on:** January 30, 2007, 09:24:44 am »

Quoting: Roadkill

Suspension related. At the rear . . . . I suspect I may've crippled one of the shocks.

i thought the bushes were fcuked when it was MOT'd

Roadkill · « **Reply #16 on:** January 30, 2007, 09:41:10 am »

That was the front . . . . .

Titsy · « **Reply #17 on:** January 30, 2007, 12:26:43 pm »

Quoting: Roadkill

A new clunking noise this morning.

Suspension related. At the rear . . . . I suspect I may've crippled one of the shocks.

Might be something to do with the Dukes of Hazard style launch you did off the speed bump in Furzton on Saturday evening...

55starchief · « **Reply #18 on:** January 30, 2007, 12:31:27 pm »

Quoting: Titsy

Might be something to do with the Dukes of Hazard style launch you did off the speed bump in Furzton on Saturday evening...

nah i crash mine over thos bumps with no problem

Roadkill · « **Reply #19 on:** January 30, 2007, 01:35:16 pm »

Quoting: Titsy

Might be something to do with the Dukes of Hazard style launch you did off the speed bump in Furzton on Saturday evening...

I do that everytime I go to the shop.

Normally I can get the front wheels off the ground, but with 4 people in the car it didn't happen that time . . .

Shifty · « **Reply #20 on:** January 30, 2007, 01:55:22 pm »

I've got a 25ltr drumm of used engine oil at home you can put in it if you want, none of it has seen over 8000 miles, failing that i have loads of different grade left over bits at home you could use. Think there is 1ltr of 5W30, 2ltrs of 10W40 and a couple of other randoms i dont care to remember.

55starchief · « **Reply #21 on:** January 30, 2007, 02:12:27 pm »

Quoting: Shifty

i have loads of different grade left over bits at home you could use. Think there is 1ltr of 5W30, 2ltrs of 10W40 and a couple of other randoms i dont care to remember.

ah roadkill blend motor oil

our man has taken years crafting his special lubricants.Choosing from only the finest available and blended to perection

Roadkill · « **Reply #22 on:** January 30, 2007, 02:31:11 pm »

Quoting: Shifty

none of it has seen over 8000 miles

Hmm, Maybe.

Is it "Black as the Ace of Spades" ?

It needs to be proper used to be mixed to creosote . . . . failing that it'd be fine for the Chav'scort . . .

55starchief · « **Reply #23 on:** January 30, 2007, 02:38:36 pm »

Quoting: Roadkill

Is it "Black as the Ace of Spades" ?

50 litres at the barn is, its mixed with fuel aswell so should be nice and thin

Roadkill · « **Reply #24 on:** January 30, 2007, 02:43:19 pm »

Quoting: 55starchief

its mixed with fuel aswell so should be nice and thin

No good.

Needs to be nice and thick to work properly.