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Topics - sixpack2639

Pages: 1 [2]
26
General Banter / Congratulations Nikki
« on: May 30, 2007, 07:11:11 pm »
Should of posted this eariler but better late than never.

My 3rd daughter Christina Nicole graduates High school today, commencement exercise is at 7pm this evening.

That's 3 down, 3 to go.

27
General Banter / This would work in the States or the UK......
« on: May 22, 2007, 07:21:39 pm »
George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline

Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal Immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down.
Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border.

When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq. Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military.
 
Give him a soldiers’ pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this Country. He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot.

This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better Life for their selves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.

Problem solved.

28
General Banter / Air Show Disaster
« on: April 22, 2007, 04:39:30 am »
One of the U.S. Navy Blue Angels planes crashed durring a demonstration Saturday.

Unfortunatly the pilot was killed in the crash.

His name has not been released by authorities yet, but on their official web site #6 aircraft's pilot is LCDR Kevin J Davis of Massachusetts.

May he rest in peace.

The crash site is about a mile from my house.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/21/blueangels.crash/index.html

29
General Banter / The Sensitive Man
« on: April 04, 2007, 04:04:44 am »
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.  There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat, than she has ever known, and even did a few things she had never done with any other man.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"?

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says......................









"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf!"

30
General Banter / EMAIL
« on: March 11, 2007, 08:47:27 pm »
Hi all,

If anyone has sent me an email in the last 12 hours (since 4am this morning my time) please PM me as my email has gone daft. I can log into my Yahoo account but cannot get into my mail box. I just keep getting "IE cannot display the web page" page. I can see I have new mail but can't get to it.

Cheers, Carl

31
General Banter / WARNING!!!!! VIRUS ALERT!!!!!!!
« on: February 16, 2007, 07:46:03 pm »
This is very serious............

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.

This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest store.

Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

32
General Banter / FAO Titsy
« on: February 13, 2007, 09:18:42 pm »
Yer lights are scheduled for delivery to me tomorrow (Wednesday) mate.

Will let you know as soon as they arrive and I calculate the shipping costs to you.

Cheers, Carl

33
General Banter / Living Will
« on: January 23, 2007, 09:47:41 am »
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."





She promptly got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my JD.

34
General Banter / How men screw up a romantic situation.
« on: January 14, 2007, 05:13:12 pm »
My sister-in-law sent me this with the caption.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-dS74rNHOI

35
General Banter / Men are just happier people.
« on: December 20, 2006, 04:41:17 am »
Men Are Just Happier People
 
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station rest-room because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000.
Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.  

No wonder men are happier.

36
General Banter / Happy Turkey Day
« on: November 23, 2006, 03:38:52 pm »
Happy Turkey Day ya'll!!

37
General Banter / NOOB NO MORE!!!!!
« on: October 10, 2006, 03:31:31 am »
Just noticed i'm no longer a newbie!!

38
General Banter / FAO Roadkill
« on: October 04, 2006, 02:25:00 am »
I may have a line on a crank and set of rods for yer mate. Keep ya fingers crossed!!

39
General Banter / Is there a problem
« on: September 10, 2006, 04:39:33 pm »
with the site, or am I the only one seeing this warning at the top of the page??

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/content/J/a/m/Jamieg285/html/forum/bb_specials.php:269) in /home/content/J/a/m/Jamieg285/html/forum/whosonline.php on line 62


I also just made a post in Ians thread about his Mustang Grande and it went in twice???

40
General Banter / 19th Anniversary
« on: September 08, 2006, 05:53:20 am »
of my 21st Birthday.

42
General Banter / How are your parking skills?
« on: August 07, 2006, 11:11:21 pm »
I had some fun with this one and thought y'all might too.

http://www.107.peugeot.co.uk/peugeot.swf

43
General Banter / New Guy
« on: July 13, 2006, 01:25:26 am »
Howdy y'all! Some of you already know me but for those of you that don't i'm a crazy arsed REDNECK from South Carolina, USA. Ian Page invited me over to your forum to have a look around so here I am!
Cheers, Carl

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